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How to Make the Divorce Process Easier on Your Children
If you are a parent and you have decided to end your marriage, you may have concerns about how the divorce will affect your children. Divorce can be hard for children to cope with, but studies shows that children with divorced parents can still lead happy, successful lives. In fact, being exposed to parents who are obviously miserable being married to each other may be worse for children’s well-being than the parents getting divorced. Divorce is a stressful ordeal, but fortunately, a great deal of research has been done regarding how to best help children cope with divorce.
Keep Grown-Up Conversations Away from the Kids
Even if children do not seem like they are paying attention, kids pick up on a surprising amount of adult hostility. Avoid talking about divorce-related issues like child custody disputes, property division concerns, or spousal maintenance arguments when your children are present. Being exposed to heated discussions such as these can make children very anxious and upset. Constant exposure to their parents’ arguing can also lead to social and academic problems. Furthermore, avoid bad-talking your soon-to-be-ex spouse in front of the children. Hearing negative things about the other parent, even if they are true, can make the children feel like they have to choose sides.
What Happens During a Contested Divorce in Illinois?
When a married couple divorces, there may be many issues that they need to resolve before the divorce is finalized. If the couple has a child together, they may need to determine how to share child custody and visitation, technically called the allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time in Illinois. They may own a home, vehicles, and other assets that will need to be divided. Many divorcing couples must also make decisions about child support or spousal support.
If a divorcing couple is able to reach an agreement about these and other divorce-related matters through negotiation or mediation, they will generally enter into an uncontested divorce. If they cannot reach an agreement without court intervention, they enter into a contested divorce.
The Basics of Contested Divorce
There are many reasons that a couple might not be able to resolve divorce issues without going to court. In some cases, a spouse simply refuses to participate in negotiation or good faith discussion about the terms of the divorce. During a contested divorce, the court hears arguments from each party and then makes decisions about the unresolved issues on behalf of the couple. The court’s decisions are based on the applicable laws and unique circumstances of the case. It is very important to hire an experienced divorce attorney when undergoing a contested divorce. Your attorney can help ensure that your rights are not violated and that you receive a fair divorce settlement. He or she will advocate on your behalf and protect your best interests.
Is Your Spouse Lying About Assets In Order to Manipulate Your Divorce Settlement?
Divorce represents both the end of a romantic relationship and the end of a financial relationship. Illinois laws regarding property division, child support, and spousal maintenance are designed to be fair and reasonable so that neither spouse suffers serious financial harm. However, in order for these laws to be applied accurately, divorcing spouses must be truthful about their debts, assets, income, and expenses.
In some cases, a spouse may fabricate financial data in order to gain a divorce settlement that is biased toward him or her. This is especially common in situations involving a spouse who owns a business, has complex investments, or who has traditionally made all of the financial decisions in a marriage. If you are worried that your spouse may lie about finances in order to gain an unfair advantage during divorce proceedings, speak to a divorce lawyer as soon as possible.
What You Should Know About Parental Abduction Laws in Illinois
When parents get divorced in Illinois, they are required to create a parenting plan which contains directions for how the parents will share custody of their children. The plan divides parental responsibilities as well as parenting time between the parents. If the parents cannot decide on a parenting plan together, the court will formulate a parenting plan that meets the child’s best interests.
Once a plan is approved by the court and entered into the divorce judgment, the plan is a legally enforceable court order. If a parent purposely violates the terms of the order, he or she can be held in contempt of court. In some situations, when a parent refuses to allow the other parent to see his or her child, the parent withholding the child is committing parental abduction.
When Does Parental Abduction Occur?
Sometimes, a parent makes a mistake and accidentally violates the terms of the existing parenting plan. He or she may have gotten two dates mixed up or simply lost track of time. Situations like these do not constitute an offense that is likely to result in criminal or civil consequences. However, when a parent purposefully keeps a child away from his or her other parent during the other parent’s court-ordered parenting time, this could be considered parental abduction in some cases.
What Happens If My Spouse Files for Divorce and I Am Not Ready?
While it can certainly be fulfilling and ultimately bring a great deal of happiness to both spouses, marriage takes a great deal of work, even in the best of circumstances. In more challenging situations, staying together might prove impossible, especially if one spouse is particularly unhappy. This can become painfully obvious if that spouse files for a divorce that you may have never seen coming. If you have recently been served with divorce papers and the request has taken you by surprise, it is time to start preparing for the road ahead.
Act Quickly
Once you have been served with divorce papers, it means that your spouse has formally filed a petition for divorce with the court. For your part, you must file a written response, or at least an appearance, within 30 days. Your response does not necessarily mean you agree to the divorce. In fact, you can directly refute any complaints or allegations your spouse may have included in the petition. If you do not file an appearance or a response in the allotted time, however, you risk being held in default, which means the process can continue without you. A default judgment against you in your divorce should be avoided at all costs.
Why You Should Consider Drafting a Prenuptial Agreement
Prenuptial agreements have an unfair reputation as only being used by the extremely wealthy or in celebrity marriages that seem doomed to fail. The truth is that many normal, everyday, couples who take the financial responsibilities associated with marriage seriously sign prenuptial agreements. A prenuptial agreement, or “prenup,” can protect you and your soon-to-be spouse’s property rights in the event of divorce and address other issues. Drafting a prenuptial agreement is also a great way to start a dialogue about how financial matters should be managed during the marriage.
Common Situations in Which a Couple Utilizes a Prenup
Many people who are getting married for the second or third time use a prenuptial agreement. When you are on a second or third marriage, your financial situation is likely much more complicated than it was the first time you got married. You may own a home, significant assets, or have child support and spousal maintenance obligations from your previous relationship. A prenup can define exactly how marital assets should be divided if the marriage ends in divorce. It can also ensure that your final wishes regarding asset distribution and special heirlooms are followed.
How Moving in With a New Partner Will Affect Your Spousal Maintenance
If you are receiving spousal maintenance, you probably know—or, at least, assume—that your former spouse’s financial obligations to you will end in that event you ever get remarried. It only makes sense. When you get remarried, you become financially interdependent with your new spouse, all but making your ex all but irrelevant—children’s needs notwithstanding.
Depending on your situation and your desires, however, you may be inclined to shy away from marriage for a time after your divorce, as your last formal commitment may have soured you a bit on the institution. As an alternative to getting married, you may decide to move in with your new partner, but you should know that, in most cases, cohabitation is grounds for ending spousal maintenance as well.
A Growing Trend
Evolving social mores and more liberal views on interpersonal relationships have led to an increasing number of unmarried couples living together. Many choose the arrangement as a precursor to marriage, while others are content to remain cohabiting indefinitely. While sociologists and religious authorities continue to debate the morality of cohabitation, legal systems around the country have been forced to contend with the changing concepts of household and family.
Co-Parenting Tips for Divorcing Parents
If you are getting a divorce or have decided for certain to end your marriage, you may have apprehensions about how you and your spouse will raise your children. If you want to share parental responsibilities and parenting time, formerly called custody and visitation, you will need to find a way to co-parent that meets your child’s needs. Of course, cooperating with an ex-spouse can be extremely difficult. No co-parenting arrangement is perfect, but there are some things you can to do help make your co-parenting relationship with your ex as amicable and effective as possible. Read on to learn some of the top co-parenting tips from child development and mental health experts.
Do Not Disrespect Your Ex in Front of Your Children
It can be nearly impossible to keep quiet about frustrations involving an ex-spouse. If your marriage ended because of infidelity, deceit, or another hurtful behavior, you may be understandably furious at your ex-spouse. However, bad-mouthing your ex in front of your children will only make the situation worse. Children who hear parents talking negatively about each other may feel like they have to choose sides. Furthermore, when a parent talks badly about the other parent to the point that it encourages a child to turn against the other parent, it can be considered “parental alienation.” In extreme cases, parental alienation can lead to the loss of your parental rights.
Preparing for Your Illinois Divorce
If you ask five family members or friends for advice on what to do in preparing for your divorce, you are likely to get five different answers. This is not because any of them wrong necessarily, but because there are many important factors to consider and steps to take. Similarly, the Internet is full of advice and checklists for divorcing individuals, but before you take action, it is important to take stock of what you have, what you want, and what it will take to get there.
Save Some Money
As you get ready to file your petition for divorce, you will need to have some money put aside for a variety of expenses. This is especially true if you have become accustomed to a lifestyle that relies on two incomes. Very soon, you may be forced to be self-reliant, and if your monthly income cannot meet your monthly needs, you will need to have savings. Remember that during the divorce process, you may need to find a new place to live, buy new household goods or furniture, or hire an attorney. All of these things cost money and you need to be prepared.
Understanding Equitable Distribution in an Illinois Divorce
When a couple gets divorced, everyone “knows” that each spouse is entitled to half of everything the couple owns, including the property that each party brought with them into the marriage. This idea is repeated as fact in countless movies, television programs, and informal advice forums. Such an assumption, however, about how property is divided in a divorce is, at best, misguided and, at worst, completely inaccurate—at least in the state of Illinois.
Equal Division Is Not Guaranteed
Illinois is known as an equitable distribution state when it comes to dividing property in a divorce. Equitable is not the same as equal, and the distinction is very important. The principles of equitable distribution—and Illinois law—require marital property to be divided in a manner that is fair and just. To determine what is fair and just, the circumstances of the marriage, divorce, and expected post-divorce situation must be taken into account.
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