Can Parental Alienation Be Emotional Abuse?

 Posted on January 06, 2026 in Child Custody

When parents split up, children often suffer the consequences. It is, unfortunately, somewhat common for one divorced parent to turn a child against the other parent. This is called "parental alienation" and can happen even if the parent doesn’t mean to do it. Parental alienation is common after difficult divorces, but it can also appear where there hasn’t been a divorce.

Even if the intent is to hurt the other parent, the child is the one who pays the heaviest price. Because of this, it is important to understand what the signs of both parental alienation and emotional abuse are, and to know what you can do about them if they are happening to you or your children.

If you are worried this is happening to your child in 2026, our Arlington Heights family law attorney can help you decide what to do next.  

What is Parental Alienation?

According to Psychology Today, parental alienation is when one parent changes how a child thinks and feels about the other parent. The child starts to believe negative and untrue things about the other parent and may stop wanting to spend time with that parent or stop showing them love and respect.

The child's rejection is not based on what the other parent actually did; instead, it comes from bad information or manipulation. Because children are easy to influence, it is important to spot this kind of manipulation early. Many parents do not realize they are seeing signs of parental alienation until damage has already been done.

What Does Parental Alienation Look Like? 

Most warning signs of parental alienation come from watching what the parent does, not how the child acts. Red flags include:

• Telling the child every detail of the divorce, including age-inappropriate topics like sex or money

• Acting sad or jealous when the child says they had fun with the other parent

• Not letting the other parent make important choices, like keeping a father from making decisions about his child's medical care even when the divorce order gives the father this authority 

• Withholding information about the child from the other parent

• Making excuses to skip or cancel the other parent's time with the child

• Asking questions about whether a new partner could adopt the child

The parent doing the alienating might also use other tactics. These can include making the child pick sides, saying negative things about the other parent, guilt tripping the child for wanting to spend time with the other parent, or telling them that the other parent does not love them or is dangerous.

Children who go through parental alienation may show signs of emotional problems. They might become sad, angry, or feel bad about themselves. These signs can be hard to connect directly to parental alienation, though, especially in court.

What is Emotional Abuse According to Illinois Law?

Emotional abuse of children is difficult to define and prove. Under Illinois law, child abuse can include damage to the child’s emotional health. Prevent Child Abuse Illinois lists a number of behaviors that may characterize emotional abuse of a child: 

• Rejection

• Isolation

• Terrorizing the child

• Ignoring the child

• Encouraging the child to engage in destructive behavior

• Verbally assaulting the child

• Putting extreme pressure on the child 

A parent who emotionally abuses a child might keep the child away from others, make them question what is real, expose them to unsafe situations, toy with their feelings, or use guilt to control how they act. This can definitely interact with child custody and the child’s other parent.

While "parental alienation" is not a legal term like emotional abuse, courts can recognize that these behaviors can be very damaging to a child.

What Can Illinois Courts Do About Alienation or Abuse?

Proving parental alienation in court can be difficult. This is why Illinois judges must rely on neutral helpers and careful checks to understand what is really happening.

Guardians ad Litem and Child Custody Evaluators

Judges often use mental health professionals, guardians ad litem (someone who will look into the case to help the judge make a decision), and child custody evaluations to help make these hard choices. These professionals can tell the difference between real emotional abuse and alienating manipulation by one parent against the other.

Adjusting Custody Arrangements 

If parental alienation can be shown, judges have several choices. The most common solution is to change custody arrangements, which in 2026 Illinois calls the "allocation of parental responsibilities" under 750 ILCS 5/602.7. If there is a real risk that a parent is emotionally abusive, courts can order supervised visits or limit parenting time to keep the child safe.

Therapeutic Reunification

When parental alienation is proven, but no actual abuse exists, courts might order "therapeutic reunification." This means that professionals work with the family to rebuild the relationship between the child and the rejected parent. Courts may also change which parent makes the main decisions if parental alienation keeps happening.

Connect with a Rolling Meadows Family Law Attorney

Accusations of parental alienation or emotional abuse can be terrible for both parents and children. Because these cases often depend on psychological evidence and testimony from professionals, they need careful legal planning.

If you are dealing with parental alienation or emotional abuse concerns, contact the Law Offices of Donald J. Cosley for help from our experienced Arlington Heights child custody lawyer. Call 847-253-3100 today to schedule your free initial consultation.