Know Your Parenting Style to Reduce Co-Parenting Conflict

parenting style, Rolling Meadows family lawyersDifferences in values and parenting philosophies can cause conflicts between two people. Not only can these differences cause difficulties with parenting after a divorce, they can be part of the reason why a couple divorced in the first place. But as a divorced parent, working cooperatively with your former spouse for your child’s benefit is an important skill to develop

One way to reduce co-parenting conflicts is to understand your parenting style and that of your former partner. Developmental psychologists have identified four distinct parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved. Most parents’ individual styles fall somewhere between two or more of these archetypes. By recognizing where your parenting style falls as well as your former partner’s parenting style, you can develop a coherent parenting plan that works for all members of your family.


Authoritative parenting is often deemed to be the most effective for raising well-adjusted children because it balances high expectations with support and understanding when the child does not meet these expectations. Authoritative parents encourage open communication with their children and have clear, consistent consequences for broken rules.


Uninvolved parenting, also known as neglectful parenting, can have a long-lasting negative impact on a child. An uninvolved parent does not meet his or her child’s physical or emotional needs. Examples of this include not knowing the child’s teacher, leaving the child alone for prolonged periods of time, and failing to make an attempt at connecting with the child on any meaningful level.


Authoritarian parenting is strict parenting. Authoritarian parents have clear rules for their children but often do not provide explanations for these rules or expectations, citing their position as parents—“because I said so,” for example—as the reason why their children must obey. Children of authoritarian parents often have few personal choices in their lives and as a result, can develop low self-esteem and associate obedience with love.


Permissive parenting, also known as indulgent parenting, is parenting without rules or consequences. Permissive parents often attempt to avoid conflict with their children and may attempt to be their children’s friends, rather than their parents. This type of parenting style often lacks structure and a blurring of both the parent and the child’s role in the relationship.

Work With an Experienced Family Lawyer

Every parent has a unique parenting style. Parental attitudes and values do not develop in a vacuum, but instead through a combination of the individual’s personality, culture, the individual circumstances he or she faces, and the parenting style with which he or she was raised. If you are a parent facing a family law issue like determining a parenting time agreement or seeking a modification to your child support obligation, speak with an experienced Arlington Heights family law attorney. At Cosley Law Office, we are equipped to address all of your divorce and family law needs. Contact us today to set up your free consultation with a member of our firm.



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