Rolling Meadows divorce lawyerIt is no secret that divorce can be difficult on everyone involved. Some people feel like their divorce makes them a failure, and children of divorcing parents may worry that the divorce is their fault. However, while a divorce is most often seen as a negative event, it can be one of the most positive things you can do for yourself and your family. Even though it may not feel like it, especially right after your divorce is finalized, a divorce can be a good thing. Here are four ways your divorce can benefit you and your family:

1. You Can Finally Relax

After you get a divorce, it can feel like a massive weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. You will no longer need to feel like you have to tiptoe around the house, hoping to avoid your combative spouse. You no longer have to worry about every single one of your decisions being met with contradiction and arguments. You can finally sit back, relax, and have some time for yourself.

2. You Can Do Some Self-Reflection

The aftermath of a divorce is a great time to rediscover who you truly are. Often, people who have been married–especially if they were married for a long time–find that they no longer do things that they used to enjoy. You can take the time after your divorce to look within yourself and figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life and what kind of life you want to live.

3. You Have Greater Control Over Your Money

Divorce also comes with a few financial perks, even though it may not seem like it. After a divorce, you no longer have to worry about explaining charges on your credit card to your spouse. You can decide your own budget and how you want to spend your money. You do not have to save up for a vacation to Hawaii when you really want to spend a week in Aspen. You have the freedom to make your own decisions now.

4. You Can Practice Being a Better Parent

Divorce allows you to quit pouring all of your time and energy into making your marriage work when it was so clearly broken beyond repair. You can now devote that time and energy into being a fantastic parent to your children. You no longer have to be stressed and irritable all of the time, and you can finally be the happy and involved parent you have always wanted to be.

A Skilled Arlington Heights, IL Divorce Attorney Can Help

The thought of a divorce is a daunting idea to many people, because they think that they–along with their children–will be worse off after they are divorced. While this is a legitimate fear, it does not have to be the case. In fact, a divorce can be the best option for both you and your children. A compassionate Rolling Meadows divorce lawyer can help you understand your legal options and requirements throughout the divorce process, allowing you to reach a positive resolution and move on with your life. Contact Cosley Law Office today at 847-253-3100 to set up a free consultation and learn how we can help.


Posted in Divorce | Tagged , , , , ,

divorce rate, Rolling Meadows divorce lawyersFor decades, relationship studies suggested that couples who moved in together prior to getting married were more likely to get divorced than those who waited until after the wedding. While there may have been some truth to those numbers, they now seem to be moving in the opposite direction. Today, more couples than ever are cohabitating prior to marriage, yet the divorce rate is on the decline, and sociologists and other experts are starting to think that the two may be related.

A New Approach to Love

The generation known as the Millennials is comprised of those born roughly between the early 1980s and the late 1990s. A large number of Millennials are now in their late 20s and early 30s, and the way in which they, as a group, are approaching committed relationships much differently than their predecessors. Young people, in general, are waiting longer to get married, but they are much more likely to move in with a romantic partner than ever before.

In the late 60s and early 70s, about 11 percent of women entering their first marriage had cohabitated with a partner. By 2009, the number had jumped to 66 percent. The practice has become so common that some sociologists have begun referring to it as “part of the pathway toward marriage.”

Avoiding a Divorce

While cohabitation has been seen a practice marriage of sorts, there is another important factor to consider. Most of the studies that have looked at cohabitation and divorce have focused primarily on those who actually have gotten married. Many of them fail to address the couples who realize in the course of living together that marriage would not be in their best interests. Moving in together, it seems, allows a couple with less compatibility to realize their differences prior to getting married, thus preventing an eventual divorce.

Age Matters Too

New research also suggests that previous studies on cohabitation may be been drawing their conclusions based on misinterpreted data. Dr. Arielle Kuperberg, an associate professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, says that the earlier research linking cohabitation and divorce may have left out the impact of the age of the cohabitating parties. It seems that those who enter their first committed union—either a marriage or cohabitation—at a younger age are more likely to end up divorced than their older counterparts.

Contact an Arlington Heights Divorce Attorney

Whether you cohabitated with your partner prior to marriage or not, divorce can be a complicated process. For assistance with your case, contact an experienced Rolling Meadows family lawyer. Call 847-253-3100 for your free initial consultation at Cosley Law Office today.



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social media, Arlington Heights family law attorneysSince its launch in 2004, Facebook has become one of the most popular concepts in the history of the world. Recent statistics place the number of active monthly Facebook users at an astounding 2.27 billion, or more than a quarter of the world’s population. The site has become a platform for users to share details about their lives with one another in the form of text-based posts, photos, videos, and much more. Problems, however, often arise when the use of Facebook and other social media outlets continues unfettered through the divorce process.

Reality vs. Social Media

Research has long suggested that the version of one’s self that is presented to the world on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram is frequently exaggerated. Social media users carefully construct their public image, focusing on the positive, and tending to ignore the less attractive elements of life. While most of us know at least a few people who spend most of their time on social media complaining or making vague, unhappy-sounding posts, most users project an artificially inflated social media persona that is healthier, more fun, more ambitious, and more successful than the person may be in reality.

Social Media Posts as Evidence

In the course of a divorce, this false self can potentially create enormous problems. Anything posted to the internet can be found by virtually anyone, regardless of your privacy settings. Your photos, messages, and posts could be saved and presented to the court as evidence. Inside the courtroom, context is extremely difficult to demonstrate, so intended humor and irony are often lost—which could result in posts that sound or appear much worse than they were meant to be.

For example, if you have claimed in your divorce that you cannot afford to pay spousal maintenance, Facebook photos of you at a vacation destination or with several brand-new purchases may suggest otherwise—even if the “vacation” was a work trip or you bought your new items with gift cards that you received for your birthday. Similarly, if alcohol has been a problem for you in the past, posts from a single, well-deserved night on the town could present the image that you are still struggling, regardless of the actual truth.

The easiest way to make sure that Facebook and social media sites cannot negatively affect your divorce is by limiting what you post. Before you upload anything—a photo, a memory, or even a political rant—assume that it will eventually be seen by the judge. Consider how the post could be taken out of context and used against you. While it may seem alarmist, think about the worst-case scenario, and if there is even the slightest trace of doubt in your mind, do not post it.

Protect Yourself with Help from a Rolling Meadows Family Lawyer

Divorce can be extremely complicated and, in many cases, social media can make it even more so. Contact an experienced divorce lawyer in Arlington Heights for guidance with your situation. We will work with you to develop a social media strategy that will allow you to communicate with friends and loved ones without threatening the divorce proceedings. Call 847-253-3100 for a free consultation today.



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